Monday, November 22, 2010

you're good- but you can't fly.

My coworker told me this early last week… and throughout the week I kept needing to repeat it:

“Kristi- you are not super Mom. You can not be awesome Mom, and awesome employee. I know you want to because I’m the same way- but you can’t do it all. Take care of your daughter- you’re a Mom and you know that comes first so don’t feel guilty for not being here. You’re great- but we survived before you and we’ll be fine a day without you. You’re not super Mom. You’re good, but you can’t fly.”

This week, I played part-time Mom, part-time employee. No wonder I’m exhausted. Mentally, it was so draining to be switching hats – back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth again. Trying to do was impossible, although there were humorous moments.

Emelynn was sick this week. A cold with a low-grade fever, we ended up keeping her home from daycare on both Tuesday and Thursday (she didn’t have a fever on Wednesday). Monday night was hard, so when we “woke up” (haha. You’d have to fall asleep in order to wake up, but for the point of trying to tell a story…) I knew we would need to do some juggling. I needed to pull some locked files for my boss, so I had to go in. Not to mention other things that had laid waiting in my inbox tray. So I took my daughter into work with me. Having her throw up with one of the assistants (sorry J), and roll around everywhere on the floor while I try to type emails… it was hilarious! Needless to say we went home and rested….. our poor baby girl...

She’s feeling much better now, still has a cough and a cold, but no fever! Thank you Jesus!

So needless to say by Wednesday (only ½ way through the week) I was ready to go to Australia. Well, not really Australia- but just AWAY! I needed a break. My poor friend and co-worker was the brunt of this as she kept working till the clocked ticked 5 and I, who was off at 4:30, waited anxiously at her desk for her to finish. Looking back, I definitely crossed the line when it came to being cordial. I was wrapped in a cocoon of my own world and needing to escape- completely ignoring that she had a big project going on. Sorry friend. So after a little of that “ex-boyfriend awkwardness” (you know… when you pass by and want to say hi after a day or so, but don’t know if you should…), I moved on. Yes I made an idiot out of myself, but I can’t always be poised and professional. It’s just not me.

I was relieved to welcome Thursday, except waking up to a sick baby who again had a fever- was NOT fun. HUGE thanks go to the Burkes and my sister Brittany. John and one of his two beautiful daughters came over at last minute notice, and watched her from 7:30-9:45. THANK YOU! Then Brittany came over and did her Aunt thing. J How is it that I can’t manage to go pee and watch Emelynn when she’s sick, yet when I came home at lunch to relieve her so she could go to class- she had made snicker doodle cookies from scratch while Emelynn sat as content as can be in her highchair??? Oh the conundrums of life… J Emelynn and I took a nice long nap that afternoon on our bed, and I loved every second of it. I think my body needed it too. Her coughing I can hear through a closed door, a hallway, and a heater. When I heard Jeremy come home I quietly slipped off the bed to give him a hug and sit with him for a little bit. 10 minutes or so later- I hear a “THUD”. I waited 2 seconds- and thought- oh my gosh- Emelynn! I ran down the hallway, turned on the light- no baby on the bed. Looked down and there are my child’s kicking naked feed. She was head-down in the trash can next to our bed. Somehow she had rolled and scooted off the pillows. Oh my gosh I died. I was crying long after she was done crying, and silent for most of the night. How could I do such a thing? (I called my Dad and he comforted me like only Dad’s can, but oh my gosh. I’ve never felt that bad. With the exception of a small scratch on her back and a red scratch on her forehead, she was fine- scared- but fine. This was the first time not even a bottle could comfort her. I just held her and then Jeremy held her. Poor thing took a while to stop crying. Oh my gosh…. Never again will she be on our bed. She had never before rolled on our bed in her sleep. Normally in our bed- she’s out. Doesn’t even move. And when she does wake up- she’s either crying or talking. We didn’t even hear her make a sound. When I grabbed her out of the depths of the plastic rectangular trashcan- padded with a dirty diaper and junk mail, her eyes were still closed and she cried. She was still asleep. My poor baby girl….

Jeremy continued to try and brighten my mood throughout the night- topped off the conversation below. I did not find this humorous until later.

J: Move over fatty.
K: Babe!
J: I didn’t mean fatty- I meant phatty.
K: Oh like I’m too cool to be next to you.
J: No!
K: Oh so I’m fat.
J: No! Come here… I love you.
K: No, you called me fat.
J: Kristi…
K: *pout*, scooted over to snuggle. Ok.

Thank you Jesus that the weekend was right around the corner. I would be welcoming it with open arms… just one more half day at the office.

But then there was Friday….

Let’s just do bullet points-

·         It was “Preview Day” on campus, so we had tons of families of possible students touring the campus, wondering if this University was the place for them. The day was going great and very smooth. Tours were happening, parents were assured and kids were getting excited. Then in chapel a student fainted. She didn’t have much to eat that morning, but thankfully a staff had seen it happen and quickly pulled a chair under her – so it wasn’t that obvious. What was, however, blatantly obvious, was when mid-Chapel our camera man fainted and fell off the podium. Yep. Locked his knees, hadn’t eaten breakfast. Our podium is heightened in the middle back-ish section of our chapel warehouse, and is pretty obvious to all students. So when he went down- he went down.

·         My boss’ Birthday present had arrived the day before- FINALLY! A week late, FedEx had finally dropped off the carousel photo frame. I had bought it online, so I was so excited to actually see it! It was perfect to house her growing number of photographs of her grandchildren, to which to date, had just created a frequently referred to pile on her desk. I wanted to keep it in the bubble-wrap until I got to the office, but still put it in a gift bag, etc. I was so excited. It was a nice big bag with sailboats, very calm and relaxing- so her. And the frame was going to be perfect. Until she opened it. I walked in to see her so kindly being excited, and I was too- until a few minutes later she asked for my help putting the photos into the frames. It was “a little difficult” she had said because one of the frames was “a little off”. I said I would take care of it and took the photos and the frame to my desk to assemble. TO MY SHOCK! 3 of the 4 frames were broken or bent- not even all the way connected. When I placed it on my desk, the entire frame set was tilted largely to the right. These poopy little foam covers were supposed to be removed and reinserted in a very small opening after the photos were inserted in order to keep the pictures from falling off. For $50 it was truly a piece of poop. I was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO embarrassed. And of course, my boss being the 2nd Mother Theresa, she didn’t say a thing. I went in and apologized and said she was too good and I respected her too much to give her that gift. So at lunch I went to Pottery Barn and purchased the other carousal photo frame I had considered purchasing originally. I gave it to her today, and she loved it. So lesson learned- when giving someone a gift that was purchased online, put it together first and make sure it’s in good condition. Second lesson- do not buy anything from The 1 day guaranteed shipping actually means 6 days, and their definition of quality is a joke.

·         I had the joy of leaving work early to go to both an OBGYN appt. and a GI appointment. The GI appointment went good. The doctors was nice, but said he thought the IBS diagnosis was spot on. He could run a few more tests- but recommended that I continue taking a pro-biotic, and maybe try just that instead of the $140 combination of supplements (which includes a pro-biotic) and a shake supplement that I had received from a holistic doctor a few weeks ago. I tried taking the pro-biotic and not the other stuff- and guess who was “sick” on Saturday night and Sunday. Boo. TMI- I know, but I figure if you’re reading my blog, you know me pretty well. And this blog serves as my diary- my release- my “coffee”- my margarita- all in one. And it’s free. So if you don’t want to read about my digestive issues or my OB appointment, don’t! J So after one $30 co-pay on floor 3 of Kaiser, I take the elevator down to floor 2 and pay another $30 co-pay to see my OB. Well he wasn’t in so I got a Nurse Practioner that I had never seen. I was super nervous, but I figured it would be a straight forward appointment. I was there for my annual appointment, and they wanted to remove my IUD. My OB thinks that part of the reason I’ve had stomach issues was because of my IUD, so he switched me to a pill instead. So the NP was really nice. It was weird entering a doctor’s office with fake butterflies and fake flowers on the wall, encouraging sayings and quotes… I definitely am used to my male OB with his straight forward, dry-humor. This girly stuff was relaxing, but it didn’t make up for me having to get on the scale twice in one day. And seriously- who likes going to the OB- ON A FRIDAY. (Well I guess any day at Kaiser is dampened). I was told several times that after you have kids- you don’t really care who sees down there. WRONG. I am still as prideful as can be and I like my stuff between me the sheets, and my husband, and the shower. Those are the only privileged individuals. Maybe after Baby #2…… or not.

I’ve got to wrap this up somehow. Spent the weekend with my beautiful family & a beautiful friend and loved it.

Friday night we celebrated my Grandma’s birthday with one of my favorite home-cooked meals- Meatballs! Yum! J My Uncle had flown in, and it was awesome for him to meet Em for us to catch up.

Saturday Jeremy took Em to celebrate my nephew’s birthday while I stayed back and celebrated a girl’s day with Melanee. We got pedicures, enjoyed lunch & drinks at PF Changs, and then … got waxed! Ouch! What a girls’ day. Her company was priceless, and as much as I had several “withdrawal” moments of missing my two favorite people, it was so nice to get rejuvenated. Saturday night I met up again with some family at a local restaurant. Tried to order a beer at the bar, only to be asked if I had a license that wasn’t expired. Darn. I knew that little paper the DMV gave me until my new license came in the mail was going to be worth something. Water for one?

Sunday was church, and saw a dear friend and her husband and daughter- some friends from Emelynn’s play group. They were checking out our church. It was so great to see them. I love our church. J If only I could commit myself wholly to being there every Sunday. Between the rainy weather, a dirty house, an often unshowered body, and unwashed “church appropriate” clothes from last week- it’s hard to get out the door. Especially for the early service since Emelynn has conveniently changed her nap time to coincide directly with the time that we would normally leave for the 2nd service. But this week we made it! We bundled her up in her rain gear, and made it out the door! Yes- 20 minutes late we arrived, but we were there!

This month, we’re learning about love, and studying 1 Corinthians 13. This week was about forgiveness. One of my favorite professors used to say that those who have a forgiveness problem, usually have a grace problem. In their minds- God is not big enough to forgive them and grant them grace, which is why normally they have a hard time forgiving others. I often think of that, and remind myself how much God has forgiven me and try to be more forgiving of others.

Jeremy & I finished the day with double solitaire and a nice dinner. How I needed that time with him. It was so nice.

It’s on to Monday, and who knows what the week will bring. These lessons I will carry:

1.       I am not superwoman. I’m good, but I can’t fly.
2.       Emelynn is no longer allowed to sleep on our bed by herself.
3.       Take life lightly, or at least, lighter.
4.       Forgive, because God forgave me.

All for now,

P.S. I read this blog and found it really encouraging... it's about trying to be a Christian Supermom - click here: Unlocking Femininity Blog


  1. What a great post!! You are an awesome MOM and don't ever doubt it!!!

    It was awesome seeing you guys in church as well... we really like it. Thanks for suggesting it. And hahahaha... we've made it more often then you!! hehehehehe But I have learned that a dirty house can wait!! :)))

    LOVE YOU!!!

  2. Have you ever heard of a book called "Real Moms" ? Someone in my MOPS group gave it to me and I read it in under 3 days. Great, encouraging christian book for moms. I would totally give it to you if I actually knew you in real life and you lived near me. =)

  3. No prob. I think it's actually a MOPS book, as in, you might not be able to buy it just anywhere. It's really short and to the point, but I enjoyed it.

    Oh and just know that you aren't alone. Being a mom is HARD.