Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Shoulds Woulds and Didn'ts...

I wish I could pick up a book right now that would fill my heart. I want to feel rejuvenated, inspired… I wish I could read something thought-provoking without being challenged. I’m too tired to be challenged. I don’t really want something else to try to do, I just want someone else to tell me this can be hard, and you’re doing a great job. I wish I could live in a land with “thank yous”, “pleases”, kind gestures, and smiles. I really don’t live in that bad of a place. Most would consider it a pleasant-ville type suburbia filled with raised trucks and golden-doodles. Perhaps it’s the goggles I’m wearing today. I dislike how easily distracted I am. God could have 20 wonderful people cross my path, and have one person run into me with their bad attitude and inconvenient glare, and I’m perturbed! I wish I could be standing firmer.

Maybe this has something to do with the fact that it’s been awhile since I opened the Bible for me. Heck- it’s been a while since I just opened the Bible. Dude- where is my Bible. I think I packed it. Or no, that’s right- I left it out in hopes that I would (my sister-in-law constantly reminds me of my incessant habit to catch the “should’s/would’s” disease”) pick it up in the time I would carefully crave out in my day because in my heart of hearts, I knew this was a priority. HAH! I got up one morning, maybe two weeks ago, and had some tea and quiet reading and talking to the Heavenly Father by myself on the porch. Scooby Doo lay sleeping with YumYum, and I think Bob may have even stayed asleep. It was so nice. Why can’t I add this to and do it regularly? Because the last thing I want to do is add something else to my day that is scheduled. Things that aren’t scheduled just don’t happen, but I’m so tired of scheduling my days. Today on my way home during my lunch break I was scheduling how I would spend my hour off. *Home, bathroom, re-curl bangs, apply make-up since you got up late this morning and only put on blush, grab anniversary card for Scooby Doo to write later even though your anniversary was the day before yesterday, get car seat to return to Heather*…. I actually thought, this is crazy to plan. 007- relax. After that thought, I continued planning. Maybe I’m just hopelessly Type A. I have been like that forever, after all.

So if you know of any good books that aren’t challenging, but rather thought-provoking, that doesn’t use too many big words, but isn’t a no-brainer, that’s a comfort to read, and that is God-based- I’d love it. J


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