I'm worn out today. The most precious, beautiful, baby boy in the entire world wants to be held 24/7. Although most would be grateful, even rejoice, over this rare opportunity of holding a newborn all day long, I'm getting worn out. At 3:00 today, Smiles finally let me put him down. He stayed asleep while I took a quick shower and heated up some taquitos. I feel guilty that I don't want to hold my newborn 24/7. Even saying that feels terrible. But if I could be guaranteed potty breaks, food breaks (or at least time to throw something in the microwave), neck massages, and a shower- I'm sure I'd be OK with it.
Don't get me wrong- life with two is wonderful. Not rosy everything is perfect Happy Days wonderful, but blessed wonderful. His squirms and grunts, YumYum's sweet kisses and pats that she gives him, the way he calms down so quickly at the sight of a boob- :).... I wouldn't have it any other way. Tomorrow, Smiles will be two weeks old. I can't believe it's already been fourteen days. My mind is going a gazillion miles an hour- wanting to do the laundry, clean up the house, start thank you cards. My body, on the other hand, is telling me there's no way. I'll get spurts of energy here and there. Yesterday, we were at Kaiser. It was pretty painful standing up and waiting while the clerk registered him for his appointment. The pressure and the bleeding... I'm trying to drink lots and eat lots, and keep from getting dehydrated or anemic. Overall, I'm doing a really good job taking care of myself- all things considering. It's tough though. Making yourself a priority with an amazing one year old daughter who deserves my attnetion, a hard working and tired husband who deserves a break, and a newborn that just wants to snuggle and eat and have his diaper changed- "Me" isn't really an appropriate word to use in everyday vocabulary. But I know how important it is. Go ahead- start your hoots and hollers of how important it is to make yourself a priority. I know, I know. But reality is, making yourself a prioirty when you're a Mom comes with gulit (at least for me). I know, I know. Taking care of myself means I can be a BETTER mom and wife for them. But it's tough.
Well that's all for now. My two week update on parenting two. Amazing. Beautiful. Challenging.