Being a parent is by far the hardest thing I've ever done. Today reminds me of the days I used to babysit as a teenager. The harder jobs, where 30 minutes into the parents being gone, I couldn't wait for them to come home. Parenting sometime can be like that, except there's no relief.
Parenting also makes you look like an emotional wreck. There's hard times (like stated above) and then there's times where you couldn't be prouder to say "She/He's Mine". There's the times where only you can comfort them, and your heart just melts. Other times they can't stand you. Hence, why the emotions I feel as a parent can not be the primary determining factor in setting my mood for the day. Because sometimes I feel frustrated, then elated, then proud, then defeated, and everything in between. If I let YumYum or Smiles' actions set the tone for my day, I would act like a two year old- constantly changing my mood, and then a 2-year old would be parenting an almost 2-year old. Disaster.
So that's why God made us the parents, and them the children. Our job is the hardest one in the world, but I truly believe God does not give us more than we can handle. Who the heck told God I could handle two kids. :) Today is one of those days that I have to trust God. I'm so grateful that he's given me resources to encourage, help, uplift.... I just need to remember to ask for help sometimes. And I need to stinking remember not to try to do everything! Scooby Doo and I have CONSTANTLY been cleaning the house lately. Laundry, dishes, picking up toys, changing sheets, vacuum, *repeat*. I need to differentiate in my brain the difference between having an organized house, a clean house, a tidy house.... verses a PERFECT house. When I say the house is a wreck, what really needs to be done? A few loads of laundry and the dishes? Is that really a wreck? Perspective......
Perspective is something I could have used this last week as I remembered that Christmas was happening in less than 7 days. Scooby Doo and I had previously set a Christmas budget based off what we had saved every month as part of our Dave Ramsey budget, and then we said we would get both of the kids one gift each. We knew it would be hard, but ... well... it was hard. Counting everything- even the 50 cent bracelets I got YumYum, we bought YumYum 10 gifts, and Smiles 2. Today Scooby Doo and I both said we should have just gotten them one. It's hard because we justify, we got YumYum ABC wood blocks, play food to use in her kitchen... all these things help with her learning and development. But I so do not want to be a family who has a bunch of stuff! I want to go through and donate a bunch of stuff she is done using, but I know Smiles will use them soon. Perspective- she and he would have survived without the gifts. But what's done is done. I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I love my kids, and unfortunately my love language is gift giving. At least we stuck to our budget.
All for now,
One tired, amazing, learning,