Tuesday, May 29, 2012


As punishment for staying up past curfew, or talking back - my parents would often take away social things. Mostly youth group. I remember crying, DYING for that social interaction. I remember my parents saying "it's not like we (insert_something_terrible_and_unrealistic)".... I think I'm starting to get it.

It's hard to be a parent, but oh my word- we are doing a good job. ScoobyDoo & I make an amazing team. YES! Sometimes we do fly by the seat of our pants, or "wing it"... quite often actually! But even when we discipline, in the middle of that snapshot moment when I want to break and crumble but instead I point and raise my voice and eyebrows- even in that moment, especially in that moment, my kids are blessed. As a perfectionist, it's easy to loose your sense of reality. The reality is - this moment will pass - and many moments of happy tears and laughter will come. Right now, in this moment, it's just a hard moment.

I am so thankful for my family. I truly have the most amazing family. I have a husband who I am madly in love with. He appreciates me, listens to me, and loves me. He encourages me, builds me up, makes me laugh, makes me stronger, and holds a biblical perspective constantly. I have an absolutely AMAZING little girl. No words can capture her essence. Her presence. She's dynamic. Spectacular. Dynamite. Explosive! She's tender, gentle, sweet, caring, smart, persistent, driven, determined, compassionate, fearless, and fun. So. Much. Fun. I have a precious son who I adore. He is so close to my heart. His first top tooth was the fourth tooth on his right. When he smiles, all you can see are his two bottom teeth and this one random tooth in the top right of his mouth. It's so cute. He's SUCH a flirt. He absolutely loves to wrestle and tickle. Often he'll crawl over to me and just flop his heavy top-heavy body on me. Today he laughed and just fell (seated) towards me, and put his mouth over my forehead- putting his teeth into my forehead! What?! Why is this cute? Because he's almost 9 months old, and how I feel... it's better than ... do you remember your first big crush? Anything they did was meant just for you, and everything they said was perfect. That's Smiles to me. He can do no wrong. Yes, I realize this isn't the healthiest parenting quality to admit, but right now, where we are at, it's the truth. I give it another month or so. Or I suppose now that I've recorded that, today was our "last supper".

Smiles @ 8 months

YumYum @ almost 2 years old

My family- my unit. A friend of ours, Aces, often talks about protecting his family. In his wisdom, he has taught me the difference between my family (mom/dad/sisters/etc.) and my family (husband/children). You can love and honor both very much, but our job now- our honor- our joy- our job/mission/goal is to protect/live/love our family. My family. My husband. My son. My daughter. They are my family. I never understood how you became "a family". My family was special. My Dad adopted us, and as such, loving us, and us loving him back, was intentional. We didn't have to. He definitely didn't have to. But he did. And that created an incredible bond from the beginning of our lives as "a family". We were automatically that unit. We didn't have a growing process. At least, in my opinion as a child watching from an innocent, often naive perspective.

the best man in the world

I am so close with my sisters, my parents, my grandparents. I don't believe that I have to distance myself with them to be close, or to establish, my family. And I truly don't believe that Scooby Doo or I, could have possibly been blessed any more than we ready are. Our siblings are all followers of Christ, as are our parents and grandparents. They've prayed for us, they continue to pray for us. They love us, they love our kids. They KNOW us. And they love us. And we love them. So very much.

Creating a family. You're, I am- a part of something HUGE. Scooby Doo and I are creating a family unit that will someday, be the grandparents that our grandchildren reference. We will someday be known as "Smiles' Dad" or "YumYum's Mom". This takes time. But I am so eternally, immensely, indescribably grateful for my family. For yes, the family that I grew up with, and, more importantly, my family today. My husband. My son. My daughter. I am so incredibly grateful for my family. Thank you Jesus.

Little Brother & Big Sister lovin'

Happy Easter baby girl!

Far past my greatest dreams

thank you Jesus.